One way that my body and brain deals with stress is through nightmares. Ever since I was a kid, I've always had bad dreams when stressed out. Sometimes, I can't remember the dreams, sometimes I can. Sometimes the bad dreams I had as a kid come back to me even now as an adult and still freak me out.
I've been having bad dreams the past few days. It's going to be a stressful week. I have 3 crits lined up this week - which is something I rarely do to myself but juggling so many schedules is difficult. This week happens to be convenient for the people I want to hear from. So, I'm stressed; and coffee is always nearby.
I keep dreaming about paintings falling off the walls, or that suddenly everyone in my committee hates all my work, and the worse - that I simply do not produce enough work. My expectations for myself are quite high. In the studio I feel a little frustrated. Although I like my current work, I know it needs to go somewhere else - I really need to push it - but I just don't know where to take it. I'm hoping that after these crits some of these problems might become more clear.
Also, I ruined a painting this weekend. It was beautiful before! and then I screwed it up because I was frustrated with it and tried something new. I'm hoping I can save it still. I'm going to give it a good try.
I also spent a few hours last week in the lab, looking at some of my "slide paintings" under the scope. Below are some of those images.
I am a contemporary artist focused on the intersection of art and science in Lexington, KY.